Taboo Read online

  Taboo

  Delilah Sunday

  Austin Macauley Publishers

  Taboo

  About the Author

  About the Book

  Dedications

  Copyright © Delilah Sunday (2019)

  Acknowledgements

  Barbed Wire

  Cannibal

  Chip Shop

  Dare

  Glass

  Finders Keepers

  Iceberg

  Jellyfish

  Love Igloo

  Mirage

  Mortified

  My Closure

  Ritual

  Solly Street

  Taboo

  Voodoo Doll

  Wasp

  Wild West

  Notice

  Scream

  Human

  Racist

  Exposed

  About the Author

  Delilah Sunday is a Leicester-born poet who resides between Bath and Leicester.

  Her poetry is inspired by moments of time and the world she sees around her.

  Her writing is quirky, bringing poetry to modern-day times and delivered with brutal honesty, showcasing a natural-born talent.

  She writes all of her poetry around 3am when the night is silent and the world’s asleep with nothing but candlelight for company.

  In an era where photographs are all the rage, Delilah shuns putting her face to her work, ensuring freedom to express the world she sees around her and allowing her poetry to remain the focus.

  About the Book

  A fascinating collection of emotive poetry, written in a raw and unapologetic manner.

  Every one of the poems is their own masterpiece, created with thought, sprinkled with grit and finished off with a whole lot of passion.

  You will read poems within this book that you can relate to, be that personally or as the third person.

  You can literally feel the pain and love within this book. As you read, you will be transported, left standing within the poem itself.

  This book brings home topics that some wish to remain buried, taking you on a journey of truth that leads you to open your eyes, have opinions and to question your viewpoints.

  This is a book you will not be able to put down, one you will discuss with your friends, recommend and reread time and again.

  Taboo is truly a MUST-READ… a modern-day piece of art poetry.

  Dedications

  I dedicate this book to my girls who hold me up when I can’t stand, who love me even when I don’t like myself. Your unconditional love is more than I can ever repay, so thank you.

  To anyone who resonates with any part of my poems, just know you are not alone, GET HELP if you need it, do not be silenced, it does get better and life ultimately is still beautiful. Better days will always come. Shine regardless!

  Finally, to those who don’t look like what they have been through… you are my favourite kind of people, I see you and I feel you!

  Smile Always

  Delilah

  xxx

  Copyright © Delilah Sunday (2019)

  The right of Delilah Sunday to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

  Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

  A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

  ISBN 9781528949774 (Paperback)

  ISBN 9781528949781 (Hardback)

  ISBN 9781528972390 (ePub e-book)

  www.austinmacauley.com

  First Published (2019)

  Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd

  25 Canada Square

  Canary Wharf

  London

  E14 5LQ

  Acknowledgements

  To anyone who contributed towards this book.

  Thank you for all the good that sits behind the ugly as there has been a lot that, whilst I haven’t written, I still very much cherish.

  Barbed Wire

  Before social media I first met you. In Long Eaton town centre hanging with a mate or two.

  You looked like you were trouble, it kind of turned me on, back then I was a handful, I needed a man that was strong.

  You were a squaddie, I loved the uniform, problem with you blue eyes, is you never could conform.

  I thought you were gorgeous, looking back you were a chav, bald head, biggest blue eyes and the dirtiest of laughs.

  Combined we were disastrous in the best of ways, lived life in a bubble riding on a love wave.

  People always stared at us, guess we were kind of rough, a pair of rough diamonds, we literally didn’t give a fuck.

  I climbed the fence at Bramcote around 2am, cut my legs on barbed wire, I was crazy back then.

  Absolutely mental if the truth be told, but you didn’t try and change me, just let the madness unfold.

  I thought we would get married, honeymoon on the beach, the things you think of when you’re only nineteen.

  I drove a white Corsa, we always loved a trip, I dropped you in Nottingham and said, “See you in a bit.”

  The plan was to see you Monday, but you never showed, couldn’t get hold of you, thought you lost your phone.

  Phones back then didn’t do much, no internet, picture messaging, Skype or such.

  As weeks turned to months I’d go to where we met, in hope you’d just walk in like you never left.

  I asked the boys at Bramcote if they knew where you were, they all denied knowing you which seemed to me absurd.

  Thirteen years would pass until I would hear from you, sat with the girls when you message out of the blue.

  I stared at the Facebook message, I couldn’t believe my eyes, the man I always wondered about is still very much alive.

  You tell me the story of that night, whilst in Notts you got arrested by the cops, remanded right away, the army discharged you the next day.

  Nineteen months you were inside, couldn’t get hold of me even though you tried.

  Upon release you knocked my door, problem was I didn’t live there anymore.

  So, you went back to Mansfield, you could do no more, got back in the army then moved abroad.

  Within three weeks I was seeing you, sat across from me this couldn’t be true!

  Thirteen years passed but it didn’t feel like a day, you still stared at me in the same way.

  Those big blue eyes I fell for before, making my heart skip once more.

  Then I look down and see it there, your wedding ring finger isn’t bare.

  You tell me you’re now married and have four kids in tow, in my mind I’m screaming NO!

  You ask why I’m not married, you thought I’d be snapped up, rather than tell you about it, I said I would send you my book.

  You said if social media had been back then, you would have found me again…

  Took me to Gretna and married me on the spot, for I’m the girl who still makes your heart stop.

  Our reunion was sweet but bitter… I’m glad you found me, I just wish it was quicker.

  Cannibal

  Sometimes when you meet a man you act a little strange, but something about this boy has got me acting deranged.

  He is built perfectly for what is in my mind, all thanks to his beautiful behind.

  I stare at the rump that is in front of my eyes, would I grill it, or would I be better off to fry?

  I want to carve his bum cheek like it
is a piece of steak, slice it off perfectly and serve it on a plate.

  Place it on a table that is set for only one, pour a glass of red wine and drink it until it’s gone.

  I don’t know if I want to eat it or just to see it cooked? Maybe I would be too scared to try it in case I got hooked?

  I don’t want to murder him, I wouldn’t want him to die, there’s just something about his arse that screams at me rib eye.

  This is just a fantasy, one I will not share, imagine if I told him, I think he would be scared.

  I don’t eat fish and I have only ever eaten animals, but something about this man is bringing out my inner cannibal.

  I think it is best to distance myself from this unknowing man, it isn’t that I’m horrible, I’m just a big steak fan.

  Chip Shop

  I wish life was written in pencil, so I could erase last weekend, rub it out and start all over again.

  Draw an umbrella to protect us from the rain, erase the words that were spoken to take away the pain.

  Erase the part I said I didn’t want to see you again, draw a smile on us both, make a happier end.

  Turn the night to- day, have us on a beach, sat with a drink under a palm tree.

  Instead of us being stood in the middle of the road, outside the chip shop, in the rain with no coat.

  Ending our three-year relationship causing a massive scene, all whilst holding a portion of chips and cheese.

  But life isn’t written in pencil, it’s drawn in the strongest of pens, I can’t unwrite what’s written, and we can’t start again.

  Dare

  The past holds some memories I still laugh at now, speaking with my girls there’s one that always sticks out.

  Ben was from Coventry, we met on a night out, he was quiet in contrast to me being loud.

  He wasn’t my usual type for he had a proper job, then again, my M.O. does include being a knob.

  He had dark hair and piercing green eyes, absolute liar but the funniest of guys.

  Chubby arse putting Beyoncé’s to shame, I will tell you now Ben’s not his real name.

  We went to Jumping Jacks and danced the night away, we woke up starving the next day.

  Ben offers to go to McDonalds to do the breakfast run. This is where the story does become fun…

  As he left Cherry popped round, added to his breakfast order and gave him £5.

  Sat there chatting with my friend about the night before, when we noticed two hours had passed, maybe a little more.

  No sign of Ben, not sure where he was so we called him, but his phone was switched off.

  Maybe I should have been worried, but I really didn’t care, for truth be told I dated this boy for a dare.

  Four hours later still no sign so we find a place and go out to dine.

  Nothing worse than being hungry hung-over, so we pig out until we hit food coma.

  The afternoon passes in a blur, every time my phone pings Cherry screams “Have you heard!”

  To which I reply the same thing every time, “Nope, I think he may be lost or maybe he just died.”

  By now we’re in bits, we found it funny I must admit.

  Come eleven we are smashed, when Cherry says, “Give me your phone, I want a laugh.”

  This time she calls him on withhold, like a muppet he answers the call.

  At which point we burst out laughing, “Oi Ben, where is our sausage and egg McMuffin?”

  He hangs up the phone and we’re hysterical, we just can’t stop, that’s the last of Ben…until I pop to the shops.

  A year later I’m queuing in Clinton Cards when I notice that chubby little arse.

  Stood by its side is a woman with a pram, oh my God, is she married to this man?

  Me being me and not at all shy I tell the friend I’m with all about this guy.

  Practically shouting the whole shop did turn around, looking back now I did speak rather loud.

  Ben looks at me like I fell off the back of a spaceship, as the woman beside him grabs on to his hip.

  So, lowering my tone and looking right at him, I ask Ben where he’s been.

  I proceed to explain to his WIFE that he’s been gone so long on a McDonalds run I presumed he had died.

  The lady walked out of the shop pushing her pram, Ben just stood there in total shock.

  So I reached into his pocket, took out all that was in there, all the time I did this Ben just stood there and stared.

  £40 in my hand…so I tell Ben of my plan, £10 for Cherry as he ripped her off, £30 for me as he had been a knob.

  Ben didn’t argue, still a shade of grey, now it was my turn at the counter so I showed him away.

  I haven’t seen Ben since that day, heard through the grapevine he had moved away.

  Of all the stories I have lived, this one still has the girls in bits.

  Glass

  You are like a stain glass window a vision to the crowd, something people look at and say wow.

  People assume you are the colours that shine so bright, they don’t see your edges just your nice side.

  Problem with stain glass windows is they are not true; they don’t represent the real you.

  Loving you is like playing with glass, it looks clear and shiny, but it is cracked.

  You hold it and if you hold too tight it shatters right through, exposing the insides.

  Your smooth surface comes with an edge, hold you wrong and blood is shed.

  You are recycled, that much is true, you’ve been in a bottle bank or two.

  I want to smash you and turn you back into sand, turn you into a man I can understand.

  But you are not ready for this right now, you prefer being a show for the crowd.

  You remain a stain glass window, a vision to the crowd, and I fade away into the background.

  Finders Keepers

  I call you Peasy you call me Egg; I often wonder what life would be if we hadn’t met.

  You call me geek as it is in my nature, you’re the only man who can handle my temper.

  Coco skin and perfect hair, mountain of a man but a teddy bear.

  So cool and collected all the time, don’t know if I’ve told you this but I love your mind.

  Remember when we met in Saco Bath, eight years on, do you remember that?

  You walked in dressed like 50cent, how I laugh now at your past dress sense.

  There I was dressed in white, what happened next is between you and I.

  I will never forget the place on Wells Road in Bath, hours we’d spend doing nothing but laugh.

  Games of chess followed by sex, write with my finger as I lay on your chest.

  Our communication was crazy, we spoke all the time, how we had anything to say really blows my mind.

  Pictures were our favourite whenever we were apart, naked snaps and selfies – remember going to that park?

  The first few years were nothing but passion, until God showed me you were a lesson.

  First time I called it quits I blocked your number, ignored your calls, I was adamant we were no more.

  I had suffered trauma, my world had been torn apart, I had made myself homeless, was living out of my car.

  As soon as I messaged you, you were the first one there, helped me rebuild my life, it was then I realised you cared.

  Our lust turned to friendship of the deepest kind, a couple of years on we began to cross the line.

  My friends called it toxic and at times they were right, but neither of us could walk out of the other’s life.

  February, we had gotten too close, it was only a matter of time before things did explode.

  So, I did as I had done once before, cut you out and ignored all your calls.

  But this wouldn’t last, who was I kidding? For you are my safe place, that I hate admitting.

  When life goes wrong, I run right back, get in my car and travel to Bath.

  Your perfect shoulders are the home to my tears, even when not caused by you and after all these years.
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  Now strictly friends, she smiles as she says… Not sure if we can ever kerb our ways.

  We live under a cloud knowing time will take you away, back to New Zealand you’ll go home one day.

  This used to worry me, keep me up at night, now I don’t panic as I know I’ll be on the next flight.

  Whatever happens, come what will be, you will always be my favourite number three.

  For finders’ keepers is you and I, and I don’t know if I can be without you… although I try.

  Iceberg

  You left me on an iceberg, our relationship in your hands. Now that iceberg is melting, and I fear I may drown.

  I want you to rescue me and make sure I am safe, take me off this iceberg and let the past melt away.

  But you’re already on an island, made from solid sand, and our relationship isn’t safe, it’s slipping through your hands.

  You have a boat, you could come and rescue me, but you prefer it on your island where you can be alone and free.

  Our relationship will soon have fallen through your hands, when this happens, I will drown.

  Jellyfish

  After sex this argument would always follow, with my guy starting it by saying:

  “Well you could always swallow.”

  Barely five minutes ago we were making love, now I just want to punch him and fuck him up.

  “You always do it, so it lands on my side, you’re going to have to sleep on my side tonight.”

  “It’s not my fault, I have a lot of sperm.”

  “You’re not fucking kidding me, you could repopulate the Earth.”

  “Why don’t we just try a pearl necklace next, that way there would be less mess.”

  “How about we just never have sex again.”

  “That would last five minutes before you’re slagging me off to your friends.”

  “You need to move as I’m not sleeping in this, it is wet and slimy like a jellyfish.”

  He bursts out laughing and I am really mad.

  “You need to move babe, it is making me sad.”